Wednesday, June 23, 2010

An Open Letter to S. Phillips

It has been recently brought to my attention that someone by the name of Sarah or Sariah Phillips has been sending "naughty" emails to my two favorite blog subjects. Now while I support anyone's efforts to make their lives a little more miserable, Boo, I'm going to have to ask you to stop this tomfoolery with a quickness. You see, the problem is that I'm being mistaken for you and basically your style of writing sucks monkey balls and I can't allow myself to be associated with it. Your writing style is choppy at best and your vocabulary is limited. You seem to have a love affair with incomplete thoughts and run on sentences. You see Boo, my literary shit flows. My sentences are complete thoughts with correct punctuation. My vocabulary and grammar exceeds far beyond the average seventh grader, while yours does not. Actually in my year of editing much of the female blog subject's correspondence with the male blog subject, I pretty much recognize this style of "writing" but that's neither here nor there. I'm actually pretty damn offended by this nonsense. I'm offended that after numerous years of correspondence and blog posts that this raggedly mess is being attributed to me. Surely I've presented myself as being more educated than this. Clearly the drunken yahoo is looking at content vs. quality on this one. I'm actually shocked that his deductive reasoning skills aren't sharper. I always prided him on that. Hahahaha, in all seriousness, if the quality was good, I'd probably shut up and take the credit for being a pest, but this is so bad that I just cannot be silent. Besides, when have I ever been anonymous and private in my thoughts on this subject? That alone should be a red flag. Clearly someone's reasoning skills are amiss. The bottom line to S. Phillips is this....STOP!.... Pump your brakes!!.....Stay in your lane!!...... Recognize that sharing your thoughts through the written word is not for you!!!.... Some of us are meant to be READERS and not WRITERS...Ask for some help next time!!